Yes, these actually happened...

Well they really didn't because that would be a HIPPA violation to post it on a blog. So they didn't happen happen an approximation of what is written could have happened or was inspired by something that happened but what I said happened didn't really happen.

1. A very funny dad sang Barry White songs so his postpartum wife while I inserted a suppository.  I'm still laughing...
2. Grandmothers ask for Ambien for their daughters the first night postpartum.  Only funny because we do full rooming in so the mommys are actually supposed to take care of the babies they give birth to!
3. A new c-section has a room full of visitors, I mean full, while she is throwing up and horribly nauseous. Ya know, it is possible to say "GET THE HELL OUT!" in between heaves. Same night a 3 day post csec patient calls out that she too is nauseous.  "What did you eat for dinner", her astute nurse asks. " Hot Wings."  I'm no genius but I felt that Maalox was the best plan for that one and maybe a consult with a dietitian.
4. A very very nervous set of new parents call for their nurse (that's me!!!) because the baby is crying.  He's laying in the crib uncovered wailing while his parents look at him.  I swaddle him tight, give him his paci, hold him on his side and do the baby bounce and he immediately calms.  Thank you baby for not only making me look good but giving your parents some confidence that it is possible to calm you down.
5. We had a town hall meeting (like a hospital wide staff meeting) at 5 a.m. where a very boring speaker, presented a very boring slide show about exciting things going on in the hospital like decreased wait times in the ER because they put a patient tracking board up.  It had potential to be a nice nap until a pt called and I had to leave.  But seriously, what makes an organization think this is a good use of employee time or that employees are going to get anything out of a 5 a.m. meeting?????
6.  A first time mommy says she wants to breastfeed but never actually puts the baby to the breast and refuses help to do so.  "I'll wait till I get home."  OK, whatever you say, hope that works out for ya!
7. A certain nurse paged the WRONG doctor to report a change in a patient's condition at 6 a.m. and realized it after the page was sent but before the doc called back.  Oh that was a long 2 minutes.  Hopefully she was too sleepy to remember that certain nurse's name.  Stupid, stupid mistake!